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I hope no one will be offended by this one. It was forwarded to me by a friend in Canada, so if it upsets you, blame the Canadians.
Quote:
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(This one is too funny to not forward.)
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one. '
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch .
”
You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about!
LOL - it is a good one. Even better when told to you by a queen himself - a guy I worked with a few years ago told us when we were at the work xmas party - it was awesome.
Mom, I'm afraid that if I fall asleep the hurricane will sneak up on me and give me a vasectomy